It’s 7:57am and I’m sitting by the fire writing you this Q+A. I’m on Whidbey Island a long, lush island nestled in the Puget Sound of Washington State, just north of Seattle. Its natural beauty is breathtaking, a place where forested cliffs meet windswept beaches, and as I drink my coffee this morning on the deck, mist is lingering like a veil over the sea while a deer walks on the trail behind me and hummingbirds are playing right in front of me. The island feels both wild and gentle — a refuge with tall evergreens, quiet coves, and siren magic. Timing is impeccable because I needed this weekend more than I realized.
Life has felt like a roller coaster lately — you don’t always see what’s coming, and half the time you’re not even sure you’re strapped in. But somehow, you survive the drop, you find your breath at the top, and you keep showing up for the next ride. I’ve been reflecting so much lately on the last 6 years of Benshen. Who I was when I started. Who we were as a community. How much we have grown. How much the world has been changing rapidly around us, and yet, here we are still, the coven gathering. I love that you all trust me enough in this rodeo of life to answer your Q’s, it’s really one of my favorite things to do. Let’s dive in…
Number one thing to remember, and something I have been reminding myself ENDLESSLY of, is you are never presented an opportunity you’re not ready for, even if you are required to grow into it. There might be things you need to learn, there may be moments when you doubt yourself but YOU. ARE. READY. especially if the Universe has presented the opportunity for you.
This change in your life may be asking you to grow, stretch, and rise to meet it. That’s why we do our BENSHEN practice DAILY, especially when we’re stretching big time. It’s a daily practice to allow you to grow, stretch, ground, retrain your mind to expand beyond what you currently think is possible for you. It’s literally training your body and mind to think better, get stronger, and feel more empowered in all ways.
The opportunities that arrive at your doorstep—especially the ones that feel just a little out of reach—are not mistakes. They are invitations from the future you’re already becoming. The you who said yes to your evolution. The you who is quietly, powerfully, ready. Growth often doesn’t feel like readiness. It often feels like doubt, fear, discomfort, or resistance. But that doesn’t mean you’re not prepared. It just means your ego isn’t prepared. Your higher Self IS. Your nervous system might shake, your mind might question (thank GOD for the sisterhood of the COVEN and the BDGs), but deep down—something in you knows it’s time.
Every opportunity is a mirror of your potential. Every threshold is a portal into the next layer of your becoming. Your job is to trust that it’s NOT too big — if it’s placed it in your path, you are equipped for it—not because you’ve mastered it, but because you’re meant to grow into it.
SELF-CONCEPT, for those who are new, is the way we relate to ourselves. Self. Concept. What current concepts do you have of yourself? Creating a new self-concept is rooted in the idea that you are not your past or your programming and you have the ability to deeply and powerfully change. I learned this teaching through Kundalini Yoga but this talk by Carla Harris which I had the GREAT privilege of being there in person for, stumbling upon her talk while waiting for Esther Perel to go on stage… When I tell you every hair on my body was standing, tears were rolling by the end, it was one of the most empowering speeches I have ever heard and simplifies how we can change perception.
However, one tip I can give is when you’re growing into a self-concept that feels so different than where you are now, think of yourself as an actress playing a new role. Not in the sense of pretending or faking it—but in the art of embodying.
When an actress is cast in a role, she doesn’t wait until she feels like the character—she studies her, moves like her, thinks like her, speaks in her tone, wears her wardrobe. She becomes her through intention, repetition, imagination, and full-bodied presence. You can literally do the same with your next-level self.
Want to be a woman who radiates self-worth? Dress like her. Speak like her. Walk into rooms as her. Move like her. Study her. Channel her. Live as her.
“Llamar o tocar a la puerta means literally to play upon the instrument of the name in order to open a door. It means using words that summon up the opening of a passageway.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Even if it feels unfamiliar at first, it’s not inauthentic. It’s initiatory. You are rehearsing your future until it becomes second nature.
I know, I know I am Wicked OBSESSED. But I have been watching all of this with a studious eye on self-concepts and transformations. I have so much to say about Cynthia Erivo and Elpheba but in this post I want to share on Ariana as Glinda.
When Ariana Grande stepped into the role for the Wicked film, she wasn’t just playing a character— she was also (consciously or unconsciously) healing a version of herself. She even said in interviews that Glinda helped her reconnect with softness, innocence, and joy—parts of herself she had lost touch with in the chaos of fame, heartbreak, and public scrutiny. I read so many comments on the internet of people talking both positively and negatively about how much she changed - her look, her voice, her personality. A lot of people were hating on her for it. But WAY MORE were celebrating her for it — she found a piece of her self in this role, in this version and she enjoyed it and decided to stay in it because it was more healing and light and joyful to be in this version of herself.
And we ALL have that ability to try on new roles, new concepts, new stories and ideas about who we are. So when you’re becoming a version of yourself that feels unfamiliar or distant, it can help to think of yourself like an actress stepping into a sacred role. Not to fake it. But to practice it.
To rehearse your future.
Llamar o tocar a la puerta.
I would LOVE to dive into a few more Q’s but we’re now off to get my new about-to-be-sister-in-law MARRIED!
A few things to note:
Our August theme for BENSHEN is BECOMING CRYSTAL CLEAR and begins on August 9th. A month to become crystal clear in who you are, accessing the source of strength in you, and create a new empowering self-concept.
Our next BENSHEN RETREAT has just launched! Join us for a magical weekend upstate with the coven this November - it will also be my birthday weekend (!!), Birjiwan will be joining us from Mallorca, and Tochi will also be teaching during the weekend!